Telling Caroline about the therapist wasn’t the hardest part of our conversation, having her calm down was.
“Viv, how on earth? Isn’t that illegal?”
Well technically no, maybe? I mean I thought the incest thing was, but that turned out to be false so who knows.
“It was consensual. I just can’t see her again, professionally.”
“She can’t be my therapist.” I rolled my eyes in frustration.
“Well that’s obvious! So what did you do, you know after?”
I chuckled, I know she was looking for some reason to judge my sexual choices, but at the same time I think she secretly wanted to be a part of it. “I had a failure to launch situation at the club, went home, masterbated & then called you this morning.”
“Viv it’s been two weeks since you left me on the hook & this is what you drop me! Like you could at least tell me your pregnant by them too!” She flailed her arms around as if frustration, exhaustion & contempt all needed landing guidance on my ego.
“Well if I was pregnant then damn she’s good. But I know, I’m sorry. I just wasn’t ready.”
“You slept with your therapist, what weren’t you ready for?”
“Diving into my life. The shit relationships I’ve built in my past revolving around that one night. My overbearing mother who is also just perfectly distant at the same time. How the only meaningful relationship I’ve had outside of you is with my cable guy & hes fucking married… to another guy!” I huffed as I pulled myself to my feet. “For once I just want someone to protect me & not the other way around.”
The slamming of the door behind me felt cliche. I know Caroline meant no harm, but judgement has always been a weakness of mine & she knew how to play the chords. The real reason I didn’t tell her about the therapist was because I knew inside it was just one more mistake I had made. Besides she never called to ask me so there was no point in going out of the way to explain.
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