“Where have you been?” Caroline said with a flare of dramatics as if I stepped off the face of the earth.
“What’s that suppose to mean?”
“I had a life crisis jeez get off my back it’s not like you are my mother.”
“I may not be, but your mother has been calling me for three days worried sick. What crisis?”
“Shit, yesterday was mother’s day,” I said pulling out my phone. I pulled up the local florist and placed an order for some huge fancy bouquet that was more money than my rent. “There that should cover it.”
“Viv, what’s going on?”
“Nothing!” I said sinking into the couch as Caroline stood with her arms crossed in the doorway to the living room. Her house was perfectly kept, the complete opposite of my life in general. I never could understand how she kept her life so clean and organized.
“Try again!” I knew her impatience would escalate and we would wind up fighting over these thoughts that swirled inside of my head.
“I may or may not have done something illegal.”
“VIVIAN!” She shrieked from across the room.
“I said may not. I think it’s still up for debate.” I slunk further into the couch, unable to look at her.
“What happened?” She said taking a seat next to me.
“He’s younger than me.”
“He’s of legal age, don’t get your panties in a twist here.” I protested. “But, I also slept with his sister.”
“Vivian, what the…”
“Is there a law for incest if they are of age? I didn’t encourage it, I just was well…” I trailed off with fear trembling in my voice. “I was getting it on with him and I didn’t know his roommate was also his sister.”
“What am I missing here? What does his roommate have to do with anything?”
“He told me his roommate would love to get in on the action.” I clarified as she sat straight up in her seat. “So when she opened the door, I was like well hello. Things started to get hot and heavy, next thing I know I’m climbing Mount Everest while she’s sucking the life out of his boulders.” Caroline let out a slight chuckle to my euphemisms. “Honestly, I didn’t know that they were related until after I had accepted a deposit.”
“You asked for cash?”
“No, he came you weirdo. I’ve never taken money for sex. Although…”
“It would pay my rent.”
“Ok, ok, anyways I got pissed off because I told him not to blast off inside the hanger. So I started yelling at him and this woman turned to him and said ‘Do you think she will be the one?’ One for what? I asked. And that’s when they then informed me of their ‘situation'”
“Yeah! Caroline, they wanted to get me pregnant. Something about they are in love and can’t afford a kid. So they thought this would be a great way to do it.”
“Please tell me you are on birth control?”
“Locked and loaded, also took Plan B. But needless to say, I’m not sure if what I did was wrong. Granted, I could tell why she was in love with him. He was hung like a donkey. I would ride that again if you know this whole brother/sister stuff wasn’t a thing.”
“I don’t think you did anything illegal. You thought it would be a threesome, that’s legal. You aren’t their sibling so that is legal. If anyone did anything illegal it’s them.”
“See I told myself that. But…”
“But nothing! Don’t blame yourself for them.” I knew where Caroline was headed with this. She knew I took on blame for the stupid things, she also knew that I was not a monogamous person and she supported me on this, in an odd way, but still it was nice to have someone listen. “Did you talk to your therapist about this?”
“Yeah about that!” I said staring her in the face a smile coiling across my face “I need a new recommendation.”