I feel empty, not in the sense of not having a person to satisfy me but in the sense that nothing seems to be making much sense in life. Goals & milestones are all part of life. I expected things out of my life by this age, mostly because I didn’t want to feel left out or worthless. But instead I’m left wondering when & where things went wrong.
Was it Cherry Picker? The one who took my v-card & left me with self doubt & more pain than I could imagine. Or maybe it was one of the ones that fell somewhere in between, but the feeling doesn’t go away.
I remember the night like it was… well not really actually. I remember the hotel room, his naked body & hope I just stared at the ceiling while he did whatever he was suppose to do. I moaned like in a porn movie, but there was no satisfaction when he rolled off of me.
Was I even good enough? Maybe that’s why I’m on a quest to conquer I yearn for. All I know is this therapy session sucks full of emotion.
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